If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.

Nobody saves America by sniffing cocaine. Jiggling your knees blankeyed in the rain, when it snows in your nose you catch cold in your brain.

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

I got these haters like 'when he gonna stop?' Maybe a minute after never, start ya clocks.